Someone is wrong on the internet!
Last night (or this morning, depending on where you are in the world) Alan posted a link back to a very excellent article on his blog about social networking. In it he gave a few examples of why “online activity and social media is by far the strongest influence in readers these days.” And it’s true. It really is worth it for indie / self published writers to put ourselves out there; on Twitter, Goodreads, Amazon message boards…we should utilize our own blogs and comment on others’ blogs as well. The numbers prove that it’s worth it. But I’m going to talk today about the kind of social networking that won’t do you – or anyone – any good, is a big, fat waste of time, and can actually reflect badly on indie authors as a group.
Yep, you probably guessed it. It’s all the damned bickering.
There are people out there who don’t like self-publishing. There are people out there who don’t like self-published authors. There are people out there who think we’re a bunch of gullible, untalented wannabes who clothe ourselves in respectability by giving ourselves the phony, pretentious, undeserved title of “indie.” And I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Are you ready? It’s this:
You’re not going to change their minds by bickering with them on the interwebz.
You can go to their blogs and leave facts and figures in their comments section. You can site instances of Self-Published Authors Who Made Good. You can give them your own sales numbers and recommend well-written self-published books until your fingers are raw from typing…and you’re not going to change their minds. We’ve seen so many of these kinds of conversations that the responses are predictable.
- That author only made money after NY picked her up.
- Most of your sales probably came from family and friends.
- The majority of self-published books are crap.
- Your mama wears combat boots.
Back and forth, back and forth it goes for days, sometimes even weeks. And when all is said and done, nobody’s mind has been changed and you’ve just wasted precious time that could have been spent writing or editing your book, networking on Twitter, or reading this blog.
Even worse is the sudden surge of bickering amongst self-published writers. Obviously we’re all individuals, and independent minded ones at that, and obviously disagreements are going to come up. It’s the nature of the beast. And it goes without saying, although I’ll say it anyway, that we each have the right to air our opinions, and honest discussion is a good, healthy thing. But bickering back & forth with another indie writer, in full view of the public, isn’t just a waste of time, it makes you look bad. By reflection it makes every serious self-published writer look bad. It makes us look unprofessional. It just proves to the naysayers what they’ve been saying all along: that we’re a bunch of gullible, untalented wannabes. And that isn’t good for anybody.
I’m not about to tell anyone what they can or can’t say on their own blog, or anywhere else on the internet. It isn’t my style and it isn’t my place. But I do urge all of you to consider the points I’ve made here today the next time you feel the hair on the back of your neck start to rise when you read something that pisses you off. Because the only real way we’ll ever prove to those people – eventually – that we’re talented and professional is to act like it.
zoewinters
Moriah Jovan
R.J. Keller
robinaltman
Evangeline Holland
alanbaxter
Can I get an amen!
Thank you for that, Kel!
Amen!
Also, for me, the string of bickering back and forth takes away from the original article. Everyone has an opinion and everyone has the right to air it, but when the opinions degenerate into a cat fight, the innocent passerby remembers the mud slinging, and tends to forget the words that sparked the fight.
You’re very welcome, MoJo.
Excellent point, LK! So often the original post wasn’t inflamatory, and it’s so unfair to the person who posted it to detract from its original intent.
I’ll second (or third) that Amen and raise you another 50. The future of indie authorship is all about authors forming productive relationships with their readers and fellow authors. While there’s nothing wrong with healthy, civil debate, when conversations devolve to bickering and negativity, it’s counterproductive to relationship-building and only chases people away (unless of course an author’s target audience is composed of people drawn to sadistic/masochistic abusive relationships). It’s important to realize most people in publishing (indie or otherwise) got into it to love, honor and respect the book, and on that I think most of us can agree we’re on the same page.
Exactly so, Mark.
Excellent advice! Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, no matter what the subject, but all lose in a spitting contest.
We sure do.
And the germs! My God, the germs!
*tries to stop spitting*
I will say for myself, and this is not an *excuse* but I have impulse control problems and sometimes my emotional volume can get LOUD.
When that happens I often dont’ realize it until it’s already “out there” and the damage has been done. In hindsight it’s always embarrassing to me and I know some people develop a severe dislike of me based on something I say in an exchange like that.
One answer would be to avoid all internet debates, and that might be wise, but I’m never able to really do it.
Another answer might be to make a post, set it aside in a word doc (or openoffice for me), and let it sit for a bit and then go back and edit it before posting. However, impulse control problems being what they are, that never ends up happening, because if I’m in the frame of mind to be able to set something aside, I’m in the frame of mind for rational discourse.
So it’s moot. Nevertheless this is often why I take very long breaks from internet activity, because it wears me down after awhile and I don’t like it about myself anymore than anyone else does. (Plus I also get that a “little zoe goes a long way” and others likely need the break from my frenetic commenting and posting as well.)
And I know this post wasn’t directed “at me.” But I am, at times, part of the problem. I need to learn to just walk away and that I can’t change people’s minds, and who the hell cares if I can? But at the time it seems far more important than it is, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon for me.
When I come up with a solution, I’ll let ya know.
Arguing on the internet is like fighting in jail – even if you win, you’re still in jail and all the people you knocked out are going to wake up again and start a new fight.
LMFAO Alan, true enough.
I don’t like the bickering either, but let me throw this question out to the group: What are you supposed to do when others post to make personal attacks, question your motives, imply horrible things about you, quote you out of context and then reinterpret the thrust of the quote to suit their own character-assassinating agenda, and just generally try to ruin your reputation with your peers and everyone else?
If you remain silent, you risk the likelihood that others who aren’t personally acquainted with you will believe what the character-assassinators are saying—and repeat it. If you try to defend yourself, you risk the likelihood that someone will come along late in the game and imperiously assert that you’re no better than the attackers—not that I’m saying that’s what you’re trying to do with this post, RJ.
Having weighed these two options, and seeing no third alternative, I’ve decided I have no choice but to defend myself while doing my level best to keep my remarks factual and reasonable. Sometimes that means quoting the other person to put remarks they attribute to me back into the proper context, but again, doing so opens the door to accusations that I’m stooping to the attacker’s level.
But what else am I to do? I don’t think I’m God’s gift to indie authorship or anything, but I am sincerely doing everything in my power to advance the indie author movement and help individual indie authors succeed without any request or expectation of reimbursement, financial gain or payback. I give away far more copies of my books than I sell, because I’m a pushover for anyone who writes to tell me they can’t afford to buy them, or who doesn’t want to spend the money until getting a better idea of whether or not they’ll like them. I’ve spent hundreds of dollars and hours on Publetariat, and today I learned what my first check for paid ads on the site will be: $36. I’m now spending hundreds of dollars and hours on the Vault in addition to maintaining Publetariat, and don’t stand to see one red cent come in until at least August. I doubt I’ll break even before the end of the year. And STILL, apparently, I haven’t done enough to prevent these attacks.
I’m open to your suggestions.
Z, this post wasn’t directed at any one person in particular. Just commenting on a general trend.
And impulse control is exactly what I was talking about. It’s sometimes difficult for us to step back and take deep breaths, especially when we’re passionate about something, but it’s always a good thing to try.
Alan, LOL. Very true.
April, this post wasn’t aimed at the troubles you’ve been having, although obviously I’ve been aware of what’s been going on. Deflecting personal attacks is a whole ‘nother ballgame, and a subject with which I don’t have much experience.
I do think, though, from what I’ve read of your troubles in particular, and in reading similar types of attacks elsewhere, once the person who’s been attacked has made their case with some clarity, little can be gained by staying in the argument. There comes a time when backing down is the best thing to do. Anyone reading through the comments will have seen you make your case. The attackers eventually end up looking like assholes if you let them go on long enough. And if you keep on plugging away regardless of their attacks, eventually you’ll be vindicated.
Just my two cents, for what it’s worth.
Hey Kel, oh I know it wasn’t aimed specifically at me. I didn’t sit around going: “That Damn Kel, everybody knows she’s talking about Zoe” muahahahaha.
But I do recognize that at times I am part of the problem and I contribute to the situation.
And I agree with April that when it comes to a personal attack meant to harm your reputation, not saying anything only makes you look guilty.
NONE of what is said in this post about me is true – NONE of it. Yet since it’s on the blog of someone determined to ruin my reputation, there’s no point in replying. What attacker will ever admit to mistake or wrongdoing from his or her own pulpit?
So I’m powerless to do anything about it, I can’t even send a cease and desist order on the basis of libel because this person posts under her pen name and lives in another country.
The person you’re referring to is no longer a member of this blog and has not been for several weeks, long before this new trouble started. Your problems are with him, not with this ‘pulpit.’
With all due respect to you, I’m going to disable your link, only because I do not want to invite the kind of trouble here at this blog that follows her wherever she roams.
Just protectin’ my house.
Him? Who are you talking about? The link was to a certain female’s blog.
A certain female who’s never had anything to do with this site, so far as I know.
I know whose link it was. I thought you were referring to someone else as well. Reading comprehension fail on my part.
The point is this: I think the world of you, April. I’m signed up at the Vault. I know you’re not a scammer or trying to take advantage of anyone. But I do not want the wrath of the person your link led to unleashed here. I understand you’re upset, but your battle with her does not belong here.
And the ‘pulpit’ I was referring to is her personal blog, not this site.
Oh damn, now I’m curious. Someone is wrong on the internet – and I want to know where.
I’m not trying to bring it here, I’m trying to illustrate my point: that this stuff goes far beyond “bickering”, and very often, those on the receiving end are powerless to do anything about it.
I think of “bickering” as the pointless back-and-forth on subjects such as those you named: self-pubbers vs. mainstreamers, etc., in which neither side will ever change the other’s mind and the whole thing is an exercise in wasted breath and bytes. But what about cases like mine, in which some person or people seem determined to spread malicious lies about some other person or people? What’s a reasonable and effective response to *that*?
Don’t take this as a personal demand I’m making of *you* to answer the question, RJ. I’m just throwing it out there for discussion, partly because I really would like some advice on how to deal with it and partly to raise the issue of online character assassination in the first place. After all, if we’re being good little authors we’re supposed to be putting ourselves out there on the ‘net and developing our platform, and if we succeed at it to any degree, it’s only a matter of time before the personal attacks (from behind the safety of psuedonyms) ensue. And that’s a different problem than bickering.
April, ignore them. Walk through the hecklers. Do what you’re going to do with your eye on your own goal. They are going to say what they’re going to say and there is nothing you can do about that.
In real life, maybe getting the last word is valuable. On the net, I’ve found, it’s always better to let the heckler(s) have the last word, especially in this instance.
Honestly April, I think that’s a discussion for another blog post, since mine has absolutely nothing to do with dealing with the kind of personal attacks you’ve been dealing with. And what I specifically do NOT want is the person with whom you’re having a problem with to show her face over here in order to ‘defend’ her position. It goes down to what I was talking about earlier: airing our dirty laundry in public. I don’t want it here.
Fair enough. I guess I need to blog about it myself. Because it didn’t occur to me until it started happening to me that this is something nobody talks about—or probably even thinks about—as the Author Platform rah-rah parade goes by.